Torty Bites: Fall Appetizers

Now, I love Tortiere more than just aboot anything, I've already blogged one recipe for it; but I have found that sometimes the pastry can be a little...heavy. Not MINE, of course, but in general, it's a hearty dish with potato and lotsa meat, and yeah, I thought maybe if I broke it up into smaller pieces and used some delish phyllo pastry it might make a fun bite. I also used the pork / extra lean beef blend that I liked so much in that recipe above, but mixed it up somewhat.

These are a great appy idea for a fall party; prep 'em and bake 'em just as people are walking up. Then stuff in your face, because MY BOB these are delicious!! No sharesies for the Torty Bites! Jk, this makes 36, you'd better. I think I am liking small bites and mini quiches so much these days because you can have a taste of something without committing to eating an entire serving of anything. Check it oot!

You will need:

I medium red potato, peeled (sigh) and chopped
1/2 lb medium ground pork
1/2 lb extra lean ground beef
1 medium onion, chopped fine(ly)
1 celery stalk, minced
3 garlic cloves (or less, not everyone is married)
1 tsp salt
1 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp sage
1/4 tsp ground cloves
Pepper. Lots of pepper
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
Bitta nutmeg
1/2 cup beef stock
3 sheets phyllo pastry


Prep!! Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit, take your phyllo pastry out of the freezer. About three hours ago. Awesome! But for reals, you will need to let the pastry thaw for about three hours, so take it out, and then two hours later start preheating your oven.

Peel and chop your potato, dump in a small pot full of water and bring to a boil. Get that sucker going right away while you do the rest of your prep, like...chop your onion and celery finely and mince your garlic.

Heat a large saucepan (not non-stick: sticky) over medium-ish heat and add the meat mixture; season lightly with salt and pepper. That sounds disgusting. But totally isn't! After a couple of minutes, when it's breakable-upable with a flat-ended wooden spoon, add the onion and celery.

After about 5 minutes, when the meat is mostly cooked through and the onions are translucent and the celery is...green, add in the garlic and cook for one more minute.

Keep breaking up the meat into smaller and smaller chunks, we don't want any meatballs in these here bites. Add in the thyme, sage, salt, pepper, ground cloves, bitta nutmeg, Worcestershire sauce and stir to coat.

Looks...exactly the same. But smells different! Honest!

Check your potato, if cooked through, drain and dump into the pot. Add in the beef stalk and squish the potato while swirling around the sauce until there are no big chunks of potato or liquid left. Then taste and adjust seasoning as required. How about pepper? There's always room for pepper. And nutmeg.

 

Set aside to cool slightly and work on your phyllo dough. You should be aware, if you aren't already, that phyllo dough is as tasty as it is a pain in the behind to work with. You have to be very careful not to tear it, and any freezer burn at all will make the sheets cling to each other like Bachelor contestants at a mixer with Regulars.

You want to lay out three sheets and spray each of them individually with oil. Normally, you would use butter to brush the sheets with, but I'm not looking to use all my dang calories in one place, y'all. Mama needs her SmartPop. Anyway, I like to lay them out on a cutting board, spray and flip, then fold in half and cut into 6 pieces. Cut along the back spine and voila! You have 36 pieces to use.

Push the oiled sheets gently into the holes of a well sprayed mini muffin tin, leaving bunches on the outside.

Fill each well with meat mixture; I like to use a tablespoon-sized cookie scoop, but a spoon would just as well. Bake at 350 for 10 minutes, until the edges of the pastry are just browed.

Leave in the tray for 2 minutes to cool, then pop out onto a wire rack and enjoy! They're best hot, so serve immediately or just get them in your face. There is no judgement here, only lub. They come to 22 calories each, so that's not even bad at all!

Closer...

All up in it's grill!

Roast Beast

I had such a good day yesterday, I absolutely have to share.

First, the meat. I had dry-aged a prime rib roast for a week. Now, when I say dry-aged, I mean nothing more than that I wrapped a hunk of beef in cheesecloth and stuck it in the hubs beer fridge and forgot about it for a week. It really is just that simple. The end:

And the process:

Lay out a double layer of cheesecloth (reusable my FOOT) flip over, sprinkle underside with kosher salt and coarse black pepper

Flip back over, more salt, more pepper

Fold it all up, put it on top of a baking rack on top of a cookie sheet, put it in the (beer) fridge

 So the big day came and it was finally time to roast this bad boy. I brought it out of the fridge an hour and a half before roast time, because I wanted it at room temp, then did a very slow roast at 250 degrees for just under five hours. I usually get all fancy with the seasonings, but I wanted the taste of the meat to be the point, so I just threw some fresh rosemary and garlic in the pan for the gravy. BTW, I totally ate some of that garlic. All by itself. Oh yeah, may sound disgusting, but it was DELICIOUS. All of this was based on what Captain Awesome does, and he certainly earned his name again with this one.

Done!

And the centerfold shot again

Monday: Tortiere

This falls under the Fambly Week umbrella; my high school best friend's mom (holla Julie!!) made the best tortiere I've ever had, and it was always awesome when I could sneak some. Unfortunately she passed before my BFF was into cooking, so her recipe was never passed on. I've tried a few commercially available ones, they just did not do it for me, so I figured I would give it a shot on my own.

This is traditionally a pork meat pie, but I wanted to try a couple of variations, see what gave the best flavour. I tried all pork, half pork / half beef and half pork / half turkey. The turkey blend just did not have enough meaty flavour, so it was between the beef and all pork. I went with the beef mixture, but I really think either would work.

You will need:

For the crust:

2 1/2 c all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 c butter, cold and UNSALTED
1/4 c lard, cold
6-8 Tbsp cold water
1 egg white

1 lb extra-lean pork
1 lb exra-lean beef (or just use all pork - it's your pie, sailor!)
10 oz potatoes, 2 medium
2 celery stalks
2 small onions
3 garlic cloves
1/4 c red wine
1/2 c beef stock
1/2 tsp each nutmeg, ground cloves, thyme
1 bay leaf
Salt, pepper

I just ate the carrot, decided not to use it. It was nummy, though!

Turkey / pork at 12, Beef / Pork at bottom right, all pork plus pork at bottom left

First, get your crust ready. It needs time to rest and break down gluten and blah blah. So, measure your flour and salt into a wide bowl, add in the cold butter and lard. Work it in with a pastry blender or two knives, until it looks like itty bitty pea / crumbs.

Make a well in the center and start adding in your cold water by the tablespoon. Swirl it with your fingers, adding enough so that it feels cohesive without being gooey. We do not ever want gooey.

Once it will hold together in a ball, break it into two balls, wrap with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 2 hours. Gluten blah blah destroying something or rather, make it so!

On to prep! LOTS of prep! Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Peel your potatoes, (sacrilege, I know, but I wouldn't want people wandering across a potato peel and having it throw them off completely), chop them up and bring to a boil in a pot of water. Cook for 10-15 minutes until poke-able, drain, mush and set aside. While they are boiling, chop your celery and onions into a fine dice, mince your garlic. That's not actually a lot of prep, maybe it just felt like it because I did three types. Anyway!

Cook your meat in a LARGE saucepan, breaking apart as you go. I really like it to be as fine as possible, but you may like chunky-style. It's your pie, sailor! Do as you will. Break it down somewhat, cooking until all of the pink is gone, about 8-10 minutes. Drain off the fat.

Add everything else in. Seriously, dump it all in there, including the potato. It's gonna take a little while, mix it carefully in that pan that totally looked big enough, didn't it? Bring to a boil, then cover and simmer for 25 minutes. Take the lid off and let simmer for another 5-10, until the liquid is almost all gone. Taste! Add more pepper, probably more thyme, salt, whatever. Taste again!

 

Roll out half of your dough, I suggest this awesome pie roller measuring mat, because it's pretty much idiot proof. Drape your rolled out dough over the pie plate, brush with egg white. Roll out the other half of your dough, leave it on the mat while you fill your pie.

Add in the meat filling, top with the rolled out crust.

Mush together the outside ring, make it as pretty as humanly possible. Or you-ly possible. Slice a few vents in it, brush with egg white and bake for 40-50 minutes, until golden brown and flaky-looking.

It's a happy pie!

Also a ginormous pie

Happy and now with a tan!

This worked out to 450 calories per slice, and there are 8 servings in one huge pie. That is super high, but we could still in a nice refreshing salad with this and have a little bit of dressing. Like dot it on.

Enjoy!

Tuesday: Shepherd's Pie: NLE / SH Version

Shepherd's Pie is one of the first things I think of making when the weather turns colder, especially with my meat-and-potatoes gang. Since I have a couple of reluctant Randys in my house, this is also one of my favourite dishes to stock with stealth vegetables. I leave a couple nice and visible so they think it's safe and then WHAM! Extra veggies. No scurvy on my watch.

I cannot stand lamb, though, so although that is the traditional meat with this dish, I am all beef, all the time. Onward!

Lasagna: SHV

Technically, this should be called the Somewhat Healthier Version Made for Someone That Doesn't Like Lasagna, i.e. SHVMFSTDLL. That's a little wordy, even for me. Basically, it means that I don't (can't) use onions in a visible form or any ricotta cheese whatsoever. And here we go!

You will need:

8 oz extra-lean ground beef
Salt, pepper, oregano and dried basil
1 medium onion, grated or chopped finely
3 garlic cloves, minced
1-156 ml can tomato paste
1-796 ml can diced tomatoes (or two lbs fresh)
6 whole grain whole wheat lasagna noodles
2 oz light mozzarella cheese
1 oz parmesan cheese (NOT the powdered stuff)
1 oz light mixed cheeses

Not pictured: Cheese!

Not pictured: More cheese!

This is one of those handy recipes you can prep as you go, yay! So, first brown the beef and drain. Usually I start with onions, but you just can't never tell how much fat is in ground beef, even if it's marked extra-lean. Drain all that off! After you have, sprinkle on some salt, pepper and oregano. Break the meat up as much as you can. Unless you like a lumpy lasagna, in that case fill yer boots.

I am grating my onion into the pan, should you not have a spouse that cannot stand the texture of said onions, you could just cut them into a small dice. Either way, cook them for about 3 minutes until they are almost soft. Add in the garlic, cook for another minute. Just one!

When you can smell the garlic, add in the tomato paste and sprinkle on some more dried oregano. Cook for 5 minutes more.

Add in the diced tomatoes. If you are using fresh, you would probably have wanted to have chopped them into a small dice by this point. This is also a good time to start cooking your noodles! To the sink for water!

Season with oregano, bay leaves and dried basil; cover and simmer for 20 minutes. Turn the oven on to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Drain the cooked noodles and put them in a bowl of cold water, set aside.

Spray a 10 x 13 pan with spray and pour 1 3/4 c of sauce into the bottom.

Place 3 of the noodles in an overlapping layer across the sauce. Mix the parmesan and mozzarella cheeses together. Reserve a little bit of the parmesan for the top. Sprinkle half over the noodles.

Repeat with the rest of the sauce, top with the last three noodles and then the rest of the cheese. Bake for 45 minutes in the 350 degrees oven, I added the final ounce of cheese 10 minutes before it is done.

I cut this into 6 pieces at 265 calories each. Add a salad, maybe a slice of garlicky toast and bam! Under 500 calories! We rock!

Enjoy!

The stuff that fell out the sides I threw on top